A Recipe for Freedom
By M. Castlewood
By M. Castlewood
I took a long drag off my Marlboro cigarette, and then a
liquefying gulp of my whisky, then another gulp of whisky before I came up with this illuminating recipe for freeing Johnny Carroll.
Granted, Johnny was roughshod, and crude. He couldn't help the fact that he came from that part of Chicago that depreciates a man's European sensibilities.
A jury at the Fire Proof Nelson Courthouse would sentence Johnny at dawn. It was damn sure that Johnny would not receive approbation from Judge Constantine whose counterfeit ideology waffles like the Duke in catatonia over any imperative issue.
It was crucial that I act quickly. I contemplated the many ramifications that could ensue to foil my plan, nor would I
let any contradictory poodle business interfere.
Plan A: Burn a little incense and opiates in the
A jury at the Fire Proof Nelson Courthouse would sentence Johnny at dawn. It was damn sure that Johnny would not receive approbation from Judge Constantine whose counterfeit ideology waffles like the Duke in catatonia over any imperative issue.
It was crucial that I act quickly. I contemplated the many ramifications that could ensue to foil my plan, nor would I
let any contradictory poodle business interfere.
Plan A: Burn a little incense and opiates in the
ashtrays. Yeah, that’ll get them confused, and tired.
They’ll think that they’re
honeymooning in Calumet City.
Plan B: Arm myself with a few paintbrushes and forks in
case things get nasty.
Plan C: Bring along my cochineal insect ejector. Once infested,
Plan B: Arm myself with a few paintbrushes and forks in
case things get nasty.
Plan C: Bring along my cochineal insect ejector. Once infested,
they’ll be in a decadent fantod and regatta outta the room
like a mad Angus steer.
With adept choreographed footwork, and guerrilla tactics, I burst into the room with absolute determination to free Johnny.
Now this really gets good, I utilize my Calgary football moves. Unobserved I crash into the room, and fling a
cow punch at this bloke from Homeland Security,
creating the biggest Hubbell-bubbell that is outta this world.
Next, with a bit of brainstorming, I feign adjectival threats at the peripatetic, Adriatic alumnae of Georgetown.
Then, with a surprise move, I jab the bufflehead, Congressman Drew, with my fork.
I finish this extravaganza by flinging a capacious hydrogen bottle filled with incandescent grub. The bottle disperses the grub with a frightening horrific boom. I
grab my belly, and laugh until it downright hurts as I watch them impulsively, dance the Harrisburg minuet around the room.
Outta breath, I grab Johnny by his fur collar, and hightail outta the courtroom; like a dark-eyed junco, in flight.
I’m stopped dead in my tracks, as I eyeball this blonde bombshell named, Glenda. She eyeballs me back, with those big hazel, puppy-dog eyes. The next thing I know…
up goes that damn flagpole in my pants, and the rest is presumable history.
With adept choreographed footwork, and guerrilla tactics, I burst into the room with absolute determination to free Johnny.
Now this really gets good, I utilize my Calgary football moves. Unobserved I crash into the room, and fling a
cow punch at this bloke from Homeland Security,
creating the biggest Hubbell-bubbell that is outta this world.
Next, with a bit of brainstorming, I feign adjectival threats at the peripatetic, Adriatic alumnae of Georgetown.
Then, with a surprise move, I jab the bufflehead, Congressman Drew, with my fork.
I finish this extravaganza by flinging a capacious hydrogen bottle filled with incandescent grub. The bottle disperses the grub with a frightening horrific boom. I
grab my belly, and laugh until it downright hurts as I watch them impulsively, dance the Harrisburg minuet around the room.
Outta breath, I grab Johnny by his fur collar, and hightail outta the courtroom; like a dark-eyed junco, in flight.
I’m stopped dead in my tracks, as I eyeball this blonde bombshell named, Glenda. She eyeballs me back, with those big hazel, puppy-dog eyes. The next thing I know…
up goes that damn flagpole in my pants, and the rest is presumable history.
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